I have gathered several audiologists over the past few years
and I have seen glimpses of their secret language. I also believe they
have a Worldwide Secret Society of Audiologists.
They send out just enough clues to those of us who are
outside their Society to keep us guessing. (I wonder what it sounds like at their national
conventions?!) I get follow up letters after I meet with my audiologists. I
thought others like me might want a small hint of how they like to communicate:
“Threshold responses to warbled tone stimuli ranged from 15
dB-90dB for the frequencies 250 Hz-4000Hz for the right ear, and 5 dB-45 dB for
the left ear.”
“Tympanometry is consistent with normal middle ear function
bilaterally.”
Apparently I “present as a fifty something year old female
with moderate to profound progressive bilateral sensorineural hearing loss of
unknown etiology.”
“Using routine audiometric technique, a psychophysical map
was created with good reliability.” (I always knew I was a physical psycho, but
now there is proof in my records!)
Finally, “Appropriate behavior was observed when the Maps
were tested.” Whew!! Good thing.
For my college aged blog readers: I would strongly recommend
you consider becoming members of the Worldwide Secret Society of Audiologists!
With all the Boomers getting older and needing hearing assistance, plus all the
Millennials who listen to their iMusic devices too loudly, job security is all
but guaranteed. And, you’d get to speak a really cool secret language. Better
than Primitive Quendian, Westron, Khuzdul or Morgoth. Pays more too. Just
sayin’…
This made me laugh!
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