Dear Blogger,
Our relationship is moving much too quickly.
When I took that recent two year break, though it wasn't because our
relationship had gotten too intense, I didn't think I'd be thinking about you
this much so quickly. Here's my concern. In the wee hours last night I
woke up to pee. (It was the Silent Pee, not the Bionic Pee that I told you about
after my CI activation.) I usually fall right back to sleep but last night I
laid there thinking about you. I had topics to write about and words flooding
my mind. I hate to admit this, but I even began drafting sentences. Where is
this coming from? You seem to have special powers over me that are trumping
even my bionic ones! Do I need to wear my cochlear implant all night to ward
off your enticements? Do we need another break to avoid a dangerous liaison? I
don't expect you to answer, of course. You are likely quite happy to suck me in
and take my words and add them to your silent empire. I just become one of your
minions.
Truth be told, at some level I enjoy it. People
have been visiting us and affirming our relationship. Even my dad, whose
opinion will always matter a great deal to me, thinks what I write is worth
reading, publishing and gosh, he's even laughing aloud. It seems even middle
aged minions enjoy affirmation.
I just don't want to miss sleep because of you.
I will put a little notebook on my nightstand and when you invade my thoughts
and entice me to lay awake, I will fend you off with words and notes. You will
simply have to wait and interact with me on MY terms and MY timing. If we are
going to spend time together, I need to be the one leading this relationship,
not you. I'm sure you will understand. You've most likely been through this
with others.
That new Art Camp for Women badge I put on the
side over there? >
I will talk more about that later. For now, I'm
going to church and I am not going to be thinking about you.
Sincerely,
(in case you need to be reminded of my new
super powers)
Bionic Andi
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