Bionic Travels: Personalized Programming

My VERY EXPENSIVE implant comes with a fancy remote control.  Our audiologists program these remotes so we can tune our CIs to the current hearing situation. The standard programs work well, but I thought they were a little boring: Everyday. Noise. Focus. Music.

My last blog post mentions that my audi is a little low on the W/F scale, so I was hesitant to present to her the list of the programs I NEED to hear in my life situations. If I am going to be BIONIC, then my programs need to reflect this. How is “Everyday” bionic, I ask? 

I have previously mentioned that I was hoping for the Metaphysical Ancestral Communication program. In particular, I would like to say “Hi” to my mom, happily residing at Table with friends and family in heaven. She knew I was heading in the CI direction and it was she who ‘offered’ me this opportunity through our shared genes. But, alas, my audi denied me this program.  I must ask Jesus to say “Hi” to her for me. That works, but I was hoping for a more direct line.

I love being outdoors and I figured The Earth Goddess program would enable me to hear the grass grow. I’d also enjoy personalized weather reports, a mosquito alert system, and automatic birdcall recognition. But again--denied.

Keeping is simple, I thought the Simultaneous Translation program would be easily accessed.  I want to visit my cousins in Hungary, so Hungarian is on my list since it’s such a difficult language.  Why not just add Romanian, Icelandic and French? How hard can it BE??  

My idea of Bionic encompasses all those things plus the ability to chat with the fairies who will soon be visiting all the little ceramic houses I have been making for them.  The Celtic Fairie program would cover that.  And, the Narnian Animal Language program?  Perfect for telling our resident deer family that, while they are cute and generally behave politely, the late night Tulip Tasting Sessions need to end. The Narnian Owls and their awesome hearing abilities are close by. I know they are. If only I could reach out to them….

Boldly I showed my audi my list.  She said with a grin, “I’ll pass this onto Cochlear and see what they can do.”  That means all I can do it wait and be content with Everyday. Noise. Focus. Music.  Stay tuned….