Scattered

This is scary actually. I wrote a check to someone to whom I owed a little money this evening. As I went to add it to the check register (one positive step) I saw that I had entered a check for slightly less to the same person a mere four days ago. That in itself it not scary, of course. What is scary is that I have absolutely no recollection of doing so, nor why I would have come up with the different amount, nor what I did with the check I must have written which is no longer in the check book. I contacted my friend to see if she could help me out. She tried, bless her heart, but she hasn't received a check from me!

The best thing she did was to reassure me that moments like this have also happened to her. I've not encountered this sort of thing before. Moments that are missing entirely! Zap! Gone! This brain fart (as they have so aptly been called) was associated with only $36.60 in a missing check, but what if more zeros had been attached to that number! Oh my. Scattered.

That poignant moment came after a good deal of searching for directions to the cabin I am heading to this coming weekend. No luck. No clue how much the guy quoted me for the price or even the name of the place. I do know I have reservations, however. (Or do I?) Computer to the rescue, in this case, since I had the link marked. But, oh, what if I hadn't? And, where DID I put the name and directions for "safe keeping"? Scattered. Scary.

Much of my life reminds me of the childrens' book "If You Give A Moose a Muffin"... In the story one thing leads to another, then to another, then to another.... To me is it the quintessential ADD book, a model of my life, illustrated with charming pictures and sweet characters who come full circle in life. A good life, full of eating, painting, creativity and friendship, all the while living with full out ADD behavior.

My daily tasks are like that. My writing is like that. (In case you haven't noticed!) My parenting is like that. My performance at work is like. "If You Give Andi A Minute...." Amazingly, my good life is full of eating, playing, creativity and friendship, in the midst of all my scattered, scary way of being.

I'm going to sew right now. I am going to stay focused. After I finish my blog and take my hot chocolate mug into the kitchen and clean up the newspapers on the way, and decide to vacuum the carpet after I put away a few more Christmas decorations....